On the White Sand

Takuboku’s Tanka:

On the white sand
Of the beach of a small isle
In the Eastern Sea
I, my face streaked with tears,
Am playing with a crab

Two catsMy Imitation:

Journeys in silence
Oasis without others
Quiet seclusion
Heart strangled by loneliness,
but for company of cats.

—-

Today’s Carpe Diem prompt

used Ishikawa Takubok’s “On the White Sand” tanka as inspiration. I did my best to mimic his style in the form of my own tanka.

My attempt is written in green.

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About ewdupler

Gene is an avid outdoorsman, loves reading and is known to put pen to paper (well, he types) as an amateur poet.
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10 Responses to On the White Sand

  1. Ow, but for the love of the cats, there goes a loner. Wonderful!

  2. Gene, you caught Takuboku’s meaning perfectly

  3. I like this tanka … it’s almost in the same sense, tone and spirit of the given tanka.

  4. Steph says:

    I have a cat so I sure get this. Animals are the best warders off of loneliness. Nice.

  5. jrbsays says:

    Bravo, a very good imitation Gene.

    in a batik hut

  6. atrm61 says:

    This is so adorable yet tinged with sadness!Great job Gene:-)

  7. Company of cats.. for some it’s what remains.. well written.

  8. artmusedog says:

    Lovely tanka ~ I can relate but with the company of a ‘dog’ ~ thanks ~ Happy Week to you ~ carol, xxx
    ps thanks for visiting and commenting ^_^

  9. Sun says:

    tender words in your tanka – i love those cats too.

  10. Pingback: On White Sand | Simply Charming

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