On the White Sand

Takuboku’s Tanka:

On the white sand
Of the beach of a small isle
In the Eastern Sea
I, my face streaked with tears,
Am playing with a crab

Two catsMy Imitation:

Journeys in silence
Oasis without others
Quiet seclusion
Heart strangled by loneliness,
but for company of cats.


Today’s Carpe Diem prompt

used Ishikawa Takubok’s “On the White Sand” tanka as inspiration. I did my best to mimic his style in the form of my own tanka.

My attempt is written in green.


About ewdupler

Gene is an avid outdoorsman, loves reading and is known to put pen to paper (well, he types) as an amateur poet.
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10 Responses to On the White Sand

  1. Ow, but for the love of the cats, there goes a loner. Wonderful!

  2. Gene, you caught Takuboku’s meaning perfectly

  3. I like this tanka … it’s almost in the same sense, tone and spirit of the given tanka.

  4. Steph says:

    I have a cat so I sure get this. Animals are the best warders off of loneliness. Nice.

  5. jrbsays says:

    Bravo, a very good imitation Gene.

    in a batik hut

  6. atrm61 says:

    This is so adorable yet tinged with sadness!Great job Gene:-)

  7. Company of cats.. for some it’s what remains.. well written.

  8. artmusedog says:

    Lovely tanka ~ I can relate but with the company of a ‘dog’ ~ thanks ~ Happy Week to you ~ carol, xxx
    ps thanks for visiting and commenting ^_^

  9. Sun says:

    tender words in your tanka – i love those cats too.

  10. Pingback: On White Sand | Simply Charming

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